She hated cats. She hated kids. She hated lemon marmalade. She hated rain. She hated grapefruit. She hated roosters in the morning. She hated running. She hated pillows. She hated sales of things that neared their date. She hated women gossiping by the church on the Sundays that she went.
She hated waiting for the bathroom. She hated driving past an hour. She hated people that paid no heed to the red octagonal sign. She hated watching television at a quarter after one. She hated marshmallows burnt like they were birthed right from the sun. She hated sleeping in her lonely one-bedroom apartment when the lights had gone. She hated waking up too early for her awesome boring job.
She hated lakes. She hated farms. She hated carnival rides and games. She hated how they’d known each other since some forgotten age. She hated the crooked paper heart he’d made sometime in kindergarten. She hated holding hands with him for the whole trip to the zoo. She hated their first movie alone together when they hit the seventh grade. She hated their first kiss as she achieved official teen. She hated going on long walks. She hated taking in the breeze. She hated how he’d get her gifts just to see her smile. She hated going on dates to places that never seemed worthwhile. She hated crying while he was on a trip to somewhere overseas. She hated that they still knew each other after all this time. She hated that he’d asked for her hand with no forewarning whatsoever.
She hated the nature in which she walked. She hated the stupid way she talked. She hated the reflection in the mirror. She hated making hard decisions. She hated how every time she’d made one, it was always the wrong one. She hated rationality. She hated her emotions. She just hated life in general. Everything. Everyone. But I loved her.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
How to Play Catan
How to Play Catan
--
Welcome, you must be here for the games workshop. I'll need you to sign this release form. What did you say your name was? Oh, ok. Here's your nametag, place it so everyone else can see it, and then right through the door. It's dangerous out there what with the stampede of people, so take this map - it'll save you time in trying to find the workshops you're here for - if you have spare time, I'd recommend the Settlers of Catan workshop over in the corner room, it's always a hit every year. Again, welcome to the 20th annual Games Workshop in Duluth...
--
You arrive at the middle of the ballroom. Three halls extend in front of you, to the North, East and West.
>Read Map
The Settlers of Catan workshop is scheduled for now, and can be found to the North.
>North
You head North past the various booths and spectators to the corner room.
--
Welcome to this year's Catan workshop where the topic is "Advanced Opening Moves". Before we start, does anyone not know how to play Catan? Eh, you? Okay, here's a quick overview - We have a hex map randomly generated with tiles and numbers. In the "Initalization Round", we go around the table to place our first two settlements and roads - clockwise first to place one settlement and road, then at the last player we go counterclockwise and place the second settlement and road. All the settlements go on the corner of three hexes, and the roads go along the edges of the two hexes. Remember, the second settlement you place will get resources from all the hexes next to it, and only hexes with numbers will produce resources. Don't worry about the ocean, it does nothing.
Now the first player rolls the two die - see all the hexes with the same number as the dice? We generate resources from them. There are five resources - Wood, Clay, Wheat, Sheep, and Ore. You'll use them to build roads, settlements, cities, and buy development cards. As long as you have a settlement next to a resource that has it's number rolled, you'll get one of that resource. Cities produce two resources, which makes them valuable to keep your stockpiles high.
You might be wondering - what's the point of the game? I'm glad you asked - your goal is to produce 10 points, which you get from building settlements, cities, playing victory point cards, having the longest road with a minimum length of five roads connected making a path or the biggest army with a minimum of three soldiers. Since you'll need resources to build structures to win, a good early goal is to build another settlement, or possibly build a city. See your second settlement you placed? It's next to two ore and one wheat, which means you have two ore and one wheat resource cards. Since you need three ore and two wheat to build a city, you're over half way to your goal - and the first player rolled a 6, the same number on that ore, so you get one more ore. We watch him as he builds a road - roads cost one wood and one clay, and he passes on the dice to the next player. Keep watching, don't lose focus yet...
It's your turn! You've accumulated another wheat, so now you have the resources needed to make a city - give your resource cards to the bank and then place your city on the board where a settlement once was. Let's place it at the two ore and one wheat settlement - it'll help you to build a second city quickly. Take back your settlement, and place the city - because you built your city, you can build another settlement with the marker you gained back. Let's look at the other things you can build: we've already seen the road, with it's cost of one wood and one clay, you'll need it to expand as each settlement must be connected to a road and also to get the "Longest Road" title for two victory points. The settlement - costing one wood, one clay, one wheat and one sheep, it produces one resource whenever a hex touching it is rolled. One note about settlements - they need to have at least one empty space between it and another settlement on all sides, so you can't place settlements too close to each other. The city costs three ore and two wheat, you've seen it already. Finally, we have the "Development Card" - a Monopoly "Chance Card" you can buy.
There are x flavors of cards - the Soldier card, the Victory Point card, the Year of Plenty card, the Road Building card and the Monopoly card, in order from least to most scarce. The Soldier card allows you to move the robber - I'll get to that later. The Victory Point card allows you to gain one Victory Point, the Year of Plenty Card allows you to take two resources of any type from the bank - good for when you need that one resource you can't get to finish your settlement. The Road Building card allows you to build up to two free roads, as long as you have markers for it - there are only 15 road markers per player. The Monopoly Card allows you to choose one resource and take all of that type of resource from any player - good for stealing some twenty plus resources from all other players in a big game and making that last push to win. See this player? He's about to play his Monopoly card for sheep, taking five, six, seven, eight sheep from all other players on the board. Fortunately or unfortunately for you, you have no sheep for him to steal. Go ahead, call him a "Kiwi." It'll make you feel better, knowing he's into beastiality. One more note - only one Development Card can be played during your turn, unless it's a Victory Point card which as many Victory Point cards can be played during your turn.
Oh look, he wants to trade his sheep back to their rightful owners after devirginizing them. What a guy. In Settlers of Catan you can trade resources between players in order to get what you need - if you need clay, you can trade your ore to a willing player for clay. Otherwise you can trade to the bank at a ratio of four of your resources to one of what you need, or you can build a settlement at a port to trade to the bank at a lower cost. In order to take a port, you must build a settlement at the edge of the island - you'll have to give up either one or two possible resource hexes in order to gain the port, but you can either trade any good at a ratio of three to one at the ports with the question mark, or you can trade two of a certain good for one of another at the ports marked with the symbol for a certain resource. Let's refuse his offer for now, sheep are no longer lambs after they've been "played with" in the countryside. And what we really want are lamb chops to impress that little lady over there in the corner to get some action later tonight...
Ah. Someone rolled a seven, how nice. Notice that there are no sevens on the board? That's because the robber take his orders whenever a seven is rolled, moving from his desert square to another hex. The robber allows the player to steal one resource from one player, randomly chosen, and denies any resources from being produced by neighboring settlements and cities. This allows you to stop players from getting resources they need to slow down their growth, possibly multiple players that have all built settlements around a single hex. The final effect of the robber causes certain people to lose half of their resources if they're above a certain limit of resources, usually seven resources for a small map, and 9 resources for a large map. A nice seven roll would be cutting the leaders resources in half - it's a good reason to limit the growth of your settlements, because more people in a game means a greater chance of someone rolling a seven and destroying your resources. Remember the Soldier card? It allows you to move the robber, allowing you to get the robber away from you and next to another person, possibly to get back against others for moving the robber next to you. If you roll a seven and play a soldier card, you can get two resources from a person and place the robber twice, whereever you want. Remember, if a player has no resources, you can't steal anything, but it might be worth it to stop them from rolling a lucky nine with three cities around it - then that guy would have six sheep, the Kiwi. Is it better to take one resource, or to stop them from taking six? It's up to you. Also, the Largest Army title takes a minimum of three soldiers and provides two points, so you might want to build a few soldiers of your own to make the points.
--
You now know everything you need to know to win the game - at least the basics. Let's get back to the main point of the workshop though - "Advanced Opening Moves". You'll notice that as people place their settlements during the Initialization Round, the better spots are being taken - you know, the places with hexes of number 5-9. You have a couple of choices here - you can try to take good places for resources to deny the spots to others, or you can hope that they move somewhere else. The second settlement is important as it gives you resources - you're able to build a road or a Development Card right off the beginning if you choose a place allowing you to get the resources needed. This may or may not apply to your strategy for what you want to do - with a clay and wood you can set up a road for your third settlement right away, or you can place by two ore and one wheat like you did to build a city. You can apply a "breadth" or "depth" strategy to rolling resources - your settlements can be spread across all the resources and numbers so you have a chance of always rolling a resource every turn for "breadth", or you can focus around a couple of high rolling numbers in order to gain lots of resources in one turn, a "depth" focus. You might also want to build between people to stop them from building longest road, or try to build longest road yourself in order cut off area to build for other players. Think of it as "Area Denial" - people can deny others from building around certain points with roads and settlements. Or think of light cycles from TRON - simply trap your opponent in a area and choke their growth.
That covers the end of our workshop time - we've got a few rounds of Catan going on in the room and a tournament. If you win, you'll get a fluffy sheep to hold and to love - you Kiwi.
--
END (11:51PM)
--
Welcome, you must be here for the games workshop. I'll need you to sign this release form. What did you say your name was? Oh, ok. Here's your nametag, place it so everyone else can see it, and then right through the door. It's dangerous out there what with the stampede of people, so take this map - it'll save you time in trying to find the workshops you're here for - if you have spare time, I'd recommend the Settlers of Catan workshop over in the corner room, it's always a hit every year. Again, welcome to the 20th annual Games Workshop in Duluth...
--
You arrive at the middle of the ballroom. Three halls extend in front of you, to the North, East and West.
>Read Map
The Settlers of Catan workshop is scheduled for now, and can be found to the North.
>North
You head North past the various booths and spectators to the corner room.
--
Welcome to this year's Catan workshop where the topic is "Advanced Opening Moves". Before we start, does anyone not know how to play Catan? Eh, you? Okay, here's a quick overview - We have a hex map randomly generated with tiles and numbers. In the "Initalization Round", we go around the table to place our first two settlements and roads - clockwise first to place one settlement and road, then at the last player we go counterclockwise and place the second settlement and road. All the settlements go on the corner of three hexes, and the roads go along the edges of the two hexes. Remember, the second settlement you place will get resources from all the hexes next to it, and only hexes with numbers will produce resources. Don't worry about the ocean, it does nothing.
Now the first player rolls the two die - see all the hexes with the same number as the dice? We generate resources from them. There are five resources - Wood, Clay, Wheat, Sheep, and Ore. You'll use them to build roads, settlements, cities, and buy development cards. As long as you have a settlement next to a resource that has it's number rolled, you'll get one of that resource. Cities produce two resources, which makes them valuable to keep your stockpiles high.
You might be wondering - what's the point of the game? I'm glad you asked - your goal is to produce 10 points, which you get from building settlements, cities, playing victory point cards, having the longest road with a minimum length of five roads connected making a path or the biggest army with a minimum of three soldiers. Since you'll need resources to build structures to win, a good early goal is to build another settlement, or possibly build a city. See your second settlement you placed? It's next to two ore and one wheat, which means you have two ore and one wheat resource cards. Since you need three ore and two wheat to build a city, you're over half way to your goal - and the first player rolled a 6, the same number on that ore, so you get one more ore. We watch him as he builds a road - roads cost one wood and one clay, and he passes on the dice to the next player. Keep watching, don't lose focus yet...
It's your turn! You've accumulated another wheat, so now you have the resources needed to make a city - give your resource cards to the bank and then place your city on the board where a settlement once was. Let's place it at the two ore and one wheat settlement - it'll help you to build a second city quickly. Take back your settlement, and place the city - because you built your city, you can build another settlement with the marker you gained back. Let's look at the other things you can build: we've already seen the road, with it's cost of one wood and one clay, you'll need it to expand as each settlement must be connected to a road and also to get the "Longest Road" title for two victory points. The settlement - costing one wood, one clay, one wheat and one sheep, it produces one resource whenever a hex touching it is rolled. One note about settlements - they need to have at least one empty space between it and another settlement on all sides, so you can't place settlements too close to each other. The city costs three ore and two wheat, you've seen it already. Finally, we have the "Development Card" - a Monopoly "Chance Card" you can buy.
There are x flavors of cards - the Soldier card, the Victory Point card, the Year of Plenty card, the Road Building card and the Monopoly card, in order from least to most scarce. The Soldier card allows you to move the robber - I'll get to that later. The Victory Point card allows you to gain one Victory Point, the Year of Plenty Card allows you to take two resources of any type from the bank - good for when you need that one resource you can't get to finish your settlement. The Road Building card allows you to build up to two free roads, as long as you have markers for it - there are only 15 road markers per player. The Monopoly Card allows you to choose one resource and take all of that type of resource from any player - good for stealing some twenty plus resources from all other players in a big game and making that last push to win. See this player? He's about to play his Monopoly card for sheep, taking five, six, seven, eight sheep from all other players on the board. Fortunately or unfortunately for you, you have no sheep for him to steal. Go ahead, call him a "Kiwi." It'll make you feel better, knowing he's into beastiality. One more note - only one Development Card can be played during your turn, unless it's a Victory Point card which as many Victory Point cards can be played during your turn.
Oh look, he wants to trade his sheep back to their rightful owners after devirginizing them. What a guy. In Settlers of Catan you can trade resources between players in order to get what you need - if you need clay, you can trade your ore to a willing player for clay. Otherwise you can trade to the bank at a ratio of four of your resources to one of what you need, or you can build a settlement at a port to trade to the bank at a lower cost. In order to take a port, you must build a settlement at the edge of the island - you'll have to give up either one or two possible resource hexes in order to gain the port, but you can either trade any good at a ratio of three to one at the ports with the question mark, or you can trade two of a certain good for one of another at the ports marked with the symbol for a certain resource. Let's refuse his offer for now, sheep are no longer lambs after they've been "played with" in the countryside. And what we really want are lamb chops to impress that little lady over there in the corner to get some action later tonight...
Ah. Someone rolled a seven, how nice. Notice that there are no sevens on the board? That's because the robber take his orders whenever a seven is rolled, moving from his desert square to another hex. The robber allows the player to steal one resource from one player, randomly chosen, and denies any resources from being produced by neighboring settlements and cities. This allows you to stop players from getting resources they need to slow down their growth, possibly multiple players that have all built settlements around a single hex. The final effect of the robber causes certain people to lose half of their resources if they're above a certain limit of resources, usually seven resources for a small map, and 9 resources for a large map. A nice seven roll would be cutting the leaders resources in half - it's a good reason to limit the growth of your settlements, because more people in a game means a greater chance of someone rolling a seven and destroying your resources. Remember the Soldier card? It allows you to move the robber, allowing you to get the robber away from you and next to another person, possibly to get back against others for moving the robber next to you. If you roll a seven and play a soldier card, you can get two resources from a person and place the robber twice, whereever you want. Remember, if a player has no resources, you can't steal anything, but it might be worth it to stop them from rolling a lucky nine with three cities around it - then that guy would have six sheep, the Kiwi. Is it better to take one resource, or to stop them from taking six? It's up to you. Also, the Largest Army title takes a minimum of three soldiers and provides two points, so you might want to build a few soldiers of your own to make the points.
--
You now know everything you need to know to win the game - at least the basics. Let's get back to the main point of the workshop though - "Advanced Opening Moves". You'll notice that as people place their settlements during the Initialization Round, the better spots are being taken - you know, the places with hexes of number 5-9. You have a couple of choices here - you can try to take good places for resources to deny the spots to others, or you can hope that they move somewhere else. The second settlement is important as it gives you resources - you're able to build a road or a Development Card right off the beginning if you choose a place allowing you to get the resources needed. This may or may not apply to your strategy for what you want to do - with a clay and wood you can set up a road for your third settlement right away, or you can place by two ore and one wheat like you did to build a city. You can apply a "breadth" or "depth" strategy to rolling resources - your settlements can be spread across all the resources and numbers so you have a chance of always rolling a resource every turn for "breadth", or you can focus around a couple of high rolling numbers in order to gain lots of resources in one turn, a "depth" focus. You might also want to build between people to stop them from building longest road, or try to build longest road yourself in order cut off area to build for other players. Think of it as "Area Denial" - people can deny others from building around certain points with roads and settlements. Or think of light cycles from TRON - simply trap your opponent in a area and choke their growth.
That covers the end of our workshop time - we've got a few rounds of Catan going on in the room and a tournament. If you win, you'll get a fluffy sheep to hold and to love - you Kiwi.
--
END (11:51PM)
Vinnie Vidi Vici
Twiddling his thumbs, the boy sat on the lunch table glancing occasionally at the girl on the table to the left. She was a hottie and he knew it. But deep in his stomach he had a feeling that she was in a class of her own. A class that was too high for a normal like himself to reach. Again he glanced over at her but this time his friend caught a glimpse of him doing so.
“Why don’t you go over there and talk to her?” asked the friend. “She isn’t going to bite you. Though she may give you the eye. Or she may agknowledge that you exsist and have a normal conversation with her.”
“Man I don’t know if that is ok,” said Tyler. “She may just ignore me or worse yet she may even blow me off. . .”
“Tyler, does she even know if you are alive?” asked Joe. “Well I man, I don’t know about that. I mean that she has let me borrow her eraser before. But other than that, I am not so sure if I can say that I am on her radar.”
“You know what let’s go and have her notice you today.” Joe gave Tyler a shove and booted him off of their bench. Giving him the stern look of an older brother, he said, “I am not letting you back on this bench until you go and talk to her.”
“Fine. But don’t get mad if I get blown off.”
“Just remember all it’s all about having confidence,” said Joe with a wink.
“Gulp. If you say so,” said Tyler as he gather his courage. He let out a sigh and began to advance toward the girl who was sitting on the table next to theirs.
Every step that he took made his heart beat a little faster. His breath increased as he felt his palms sweat. His chest tightened. There seemed to be butterflies in his stomach and his thoughts started to swirl. Adrenaline had finally begun to flow though his system letting him know that his fight or flight mechanism had kicked in.
Catching himself as he felt his feet turning around, Tyler thought to himself. No not this time. This time I will not run away and I will talk to her like a normal person does. He turned his feet back forward and straitened his shoulders and proceeded on his journey into the unknown.
At last he had arrived at the table. Tyler took in a deep breath and readied himself for the worst. “Hey there, I couldn’t help but wonder is that Japanese that you are working on,” said Tyler as he tried to improvise on the spot.
“Yeah,” said the girl who looked up and had a look of surprise on her face.
Seeing the surprise on her face caught Tyler off guard. He was expecting a more of something that resembled a snob of the cold shoulder if anything else. Feeling the momentum shift to his favor, Tyler continued on with more conviction than before. “I am not sure but if you need help with that I wouldn’t mind doing so,” said Tyler who sat down across of the girl.
“S-sure. You don’t seem to be a bad guy. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some help,” said the girl trying to recover her composure. Seeming a bit less flustered, she stared at the Japanese book and she said,” And I remember you having one of the better grades in our class.”
“You actually remember me from our class?” asked Tyler who was now the flustered one.
“Yes. You were the guy that I loaned my eraser to. Right?” said the girl who was still looking at the book.
“So you do remember me? Well. Hmm,” said Tyler as he put on a face of concentration. God I hope that Joe has something up his sleeve. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.
Across the way, his friend, Joe, could feel that Tyler was hitting a wall. He could see it in his face. His friend was running out of words to say. However, the girl was acting a bit odd from how Tyler had described her. She hasn’t looked at him since they started to talk a few minutes ago. After a closer examination, he could see that she was trying to hide her face. And it was for a good reason. Joe ran his hand through his hair and said, “Interesting. This is turning out a bit different than I had expected. I know that you are screaming in your head to bail you out but I have a feeling that you got it.”
Reaching into his pocket, Tyler pulled out the eraser that was handed to him yesterday. “Oh, before I forget, I would like to give this back to you,” said Tyler as he handed her the eraser back.
Raising her head, she gave him a smile took the eraser and said, “Thanks.”
An hour had passed and Joe was now long gone. Tyler felt his heart beginning to race again. “Umm, could I ask you a question?”
The girl put her pencil down and turned to Tyler with an inquisitive look on her face. “Sure. But first I have a question for you,” said the girl who then stuck out her tongue.
“Uhh. OK. What is it?”
“Your name was Tyler. Right?”
Tyler’s heart skipped a beat and he gave her a dumbfounded look. “Y-yeah it is. But how. . .”
She then gave him a gentle smile and asked for his phone. Once she had it, she turned around and fiddled around with it.
What the hell is she doing?
After a bit she turned around giggling and gave the phone back to him.
“What did you do to my phone?” asked Tyler.
“Oh nothing. Just a little something,” said the girl as she started to stand up. “By the way my name is Cassandra.” She left him on that note, stunned yet happy.
As he was packing up his things, he got a text message. It read, I hope you give me a call later.
Staring at his phone, he couldn’t help but laugh. How the hell am I going to call you back if I don’t even have your number. Unless. . .
He busted out his phone and began to search through the contacts list. And sure enough, her number was staring him right in the face.
Man what should I do now?
“Why don’t you go over there and talk to her?” asked the friend. “She isn’t going to bite you. Though she may give you the eye. Or she may agknowledge that you exsist and have a normal conversation with her.”
“Man I don’t know if that is ok,” said Tyler. “She may just ignore me or worse yet she may even blow me off. . .”
“Tyler, does she even know if you are alive?” asked Joe. “Well I man, I don’t know about that. I mean that she has let me borrow her eraser before. But other than that, I am not so sure if I can say that I am on her radar.”
“You know what let’s go and have her notice you today.” Joe gave Tyler a shove and booted him off of their bench. Giving him the stern look of an older brother, he said, “I am not letting you back on this bench until you go and talk to her.”
“Fine. But don’t get mad if I get blown off.”
“Just remember all it’s all about having confidence,” said Joe with a wink.
“Gulp. If you say so,” said Tyler as he gather his courage. He let out a sigh and began to advance toward the girl who was sitting on the table next to theirs.
Every step that he took made his heart beat a little faster. His breath increased as he felt his palms sweat. His chest tightened. There seemed to be butterflies in his stomach and his thoughts started to swirl. Adrenaline had finally begun to flow though his system letting him know that his fight or flight mechanism had kicked in.
Catching himself as he felt his feet turning around, Tyler thought to himself. No not this time. This time I will not run away and I will talk to her like a normal person does. He turned his feet back forward and straitened his shoulders and proceeded on his journey into the unknown.
At last he had arrived at the table. Tyler took in a deep breath and readied himself for the worst. “Hey there, I couldn’t help but wonder is that Japanese that you are working on,” said Tyler as he tried to improvise on the spot.
“Yeah,” said the girl who looked up and had a look of surprise on her face.
Seeing the surprise on her face caught Tyler off guard. He was expecting a more of something that resembled a snob of the cold shoulder if anything else. Feeling the momentum shift to his favor, Tyler continued on with more conviction than before. “I am not sure but if you need help with that I wouldn’t mind doing so,” said Tyler who sat down across of the girl.
“S-sure. You don’t seem to be a bad guy. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some help,” said the girl trying to recover her composure. Seeming a bit less flustered, she stared at the Japanese book and she said,” And I remember you having one of the better grades in our class.”
“You actually remember me from our class?” asked Tyler who was now the flustered one.
“Yes. You were the guy that I loaned my eraser to. Right?” said the girl who was still looking at the book.
“So you do remember me? Well. Hmm,” said Tyler as he put on a face of concentration. God I hope that Joe has something up his sleeve. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.
Across the way, his friend, Joe, could feel that Tyler was hitting a wall. He could see it in his face. His friend was running out of words to say. However, the girl was acting a bit odd from how Tyler had described her. She hasn’t looked at him since they started to talk a few minutes ago. After a closer examination, he could see that she was trying to hide her face. And it was for a good reason. Joe ran his hand through his hair and said, “Interesting. This is turning out a bit different than I had expected. I know that you are screaming in your head to bail you out but I have a feeling that you got it.”
Reaching into his pocket, Tyler pulled out the eraser that was handed to him yesterday. “Oh, before I forget, I would like to give this back to you,” said Tyler as he handed her the eraser back.
Raising her head, she gave him a smile took the eraser and said, “Thanks.”
An hour had passed and Joe was now long gone. Tyler felt his heart beginning to race again. “Umm, could I ask you a question?”
The girl put her pencil down and turned to Tyler with an inquisitive look on her face. “Sure. But first I have a question for you,” said the girl who then stuck out her tongue.
“Uhh. OK. What is it?”
“Your name was Tyler. Right?”
Tyler’s heart skipped a beat and he gave her a dumbfounded look. “Y-yeah it is. But how. . .”
She then gave him a gentle smile and asked for his phone. Once she had it, she turned around and fiddled around with it.
What the hell is she doing?
After a bit she turned around giggling and gave the phone back to him.
“What did you do to my phone?” asked Tyler.
“Oh nothing. Just a little something,” said the girl as she started to stand up. “By the way my name is Cassandra.” She left him on that note, stunned yet happy.
As he was packing up his things, he got a text message. It read, I hope you give me a call later.
Staring at his phone, he couldn’t help but laugh. How the hell am I going to call you back if I don’t even have your number. Unless. . .
He busted out his phone and began to search through the contacts list. And sure enough, her number was staring him right in the face.
Man what should I do now?
Now that's some stong gel
Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring.
“Hey, this is Cobra. I have a new target for you.”
“Is that so. Fine, who is it.”
“It is Donald Trump.”
“What?! Come again.”
“You heard me right. I just said the target is Donald Trump.”
“Fine. . . However, I expect a higher pay.”
“Agreed. The target will be on the rooftop across from the hotel that you are at.”
“Rodger that. Over and out.”
The new dawn approached faster than he had expected. It was colder than he had originally expected. When he had awoken, frost covered his perch. “This sucks.” He felt like a pigeon as he waited on his roost. Waiting for his target to arrive.
A few hours had passed and his arms grew numb. Off in the distance, the sound of propellers echoed between the high risers. “Sheesh. Finally. That took a lot longer than I was told. The old man is going to get an earful when I get back.”
Around the corner of the building, the helicopter came. It came to hover over the building across from him, and finally settled on the giant H. The propellers slowed to a halt and the helicopter’s door slid open, and a graying head poked through the doorway.
The man’s finger rested lightly on the trigger as he peered through the scope waiting for his target to exit the copter. “The target has touched down and I am commencing the mission,” said the assassin as he repositioned himself for the kill. He let out a breath to stabilize himself and gradually squeezed the trigger. The man let out a smirk as his gun kicked against his shoulder.
The bullet spiraled out of the barrel and flew at its target with conviction. It seemed to take on a life of its own as its vapor trail snaked behind it. Since it was fired at a higher angle than the target, the bullet gradually gained speed as it approached the target. The graying hair was now only an arms length away. The bullet slammed intensely into the hair and. . . didn’t do a thing.
The assassin sat on the roof with his mouth hanging wide open. “How the hell did the bullet not kill him. It just smashed into his hair and fell to the floor. Is he wearing a helmet under his hair?” Flabergasted after his miss the assassin set up for another shot. However, as he was taking aim, the cold sensation of a steel barrel caressed the back of his head. “Shit,” said the assassin under his breath.
Around the downed Donald Trump, his men scurried trying to find the direction that the bullet had come from. “Sir, are you ok?” asked one of the bodyguards. He leaned over to help Donald Trump to his feet.
Throwing his shoulders back, Donald Trump let our a sigh. He looked around in a daze and noticed the men were in a state of chaos. “What is the matter with you men? Is there a fire or something?” The men only scurried around and didn’t reply. “Hey! I am talking to you!” The men stopped in their tracks and turned to Trump with dazed faces.
“Sir we were worried that you were dead,” said one of the bodyguards.
“By the way sir, how did you survive a direct hit to the head from a sniper round?”
“Actually I have no idea myself. But I did use the extra strength hair gel today.”
“Hey, this is Cobra. I have a new target for you.”
“Is that so. Fine, who is it.”
“It is Donald Trump.”
“What?! Come again.”
“You heard me right. I just said the target is Donald Trump.”
“Fine. . . However, I expect a higher pay.”
“Agreed. The target will be on the rooftop across from the hotel that you are at.”
“Rodger that. Over and out.”
The new dawn approached faster than he had expected. It was colder than he had originally expected. When he had awoken, frost covered his perch. “This sucks.” He felt like a pigeon as he waited on his roost. Waiting for his target to arrive.
A few hours had passed and his arms grew numb. Off in the distance, the sound of propellers echoed between the high risers. “Sheesh. Finally. That took a lot longer than I was told. The old man is going to get an earful when I get back.”
Around the corner of the building, the helicopter came. It came to hover over the building across from him, and finally settled on the giant H. The propellers slowed to a halt and the helicopter’s door slid open, and a graying head poked through the doorway.
The man’s finger rested lightly on the trigger as he peered through the scope waiting for his target to exit the copter. “The target has touched down and I am commencing the mission,” said the assassin as he repositioned himself for the kill. He let out a breath to stabilize himself and gradually squeezed the trigger. The man let out a smirk as his gun kicked against his shoulder.
The bullet spiraled out of the barrel and flew at its target with conviction. It seemed to take on a life of its own as its vapor trail snaked behind it. Since it was fired at a higher angle than the target, the bullet gradually gained speed as it approached the target. The graying hair was now only an arms length away. The bullet slammed intensely into the hair and. . . didn’t do a thing.
The assassin sat on the roof with his mouth hanging wide open. “How the hell did the bullet not kill him. It just smashed into his hair and fell to the floor. Is he wearing a helmet under his hair?” Flabergasted after his miss the assassin set up for another shot. However, as he was taking aim, the cold sensation of a steel barrel caressed the back of his head. “Shit,” said the assassin under his breath.
Around the downed Donald Trump, his men scurried trying to find the direction that the bullet had come from. “Sir, are you ok?” asked one of the bodyguards. He leaned over to help Donald Trump to his feet.
Throwing his shoulders back, Donald Trump let our a sigh. He looked around in a daze and noticed the men were in a state of chaos. “What is the matter with you men? Is there a fire or something?” The men only scurried around and didn’t reply. “Hey! I am talking to you!” The men stopped in their tracks and turned to Trump with dazed faces.
“Sir we were worried that you were dead,” said one of the bodyguards.
“By the way sir, how did you survive a direct hit to the head from a sniper round?”
“Actually I have no idea myself. But I did use the extra strength hair gel today.”
She loved him once. When nothing mattered. Talking on the phone till she ran out of minutes, holding hands on dates, kissing under the starry heavens, and getting hugs she wished would never end.
Shauna lived to run. She wasn‘t a great runner or anything, but not a day went by that she didn’t hit the track. She jogged till the sun went down, through the rain, on sprained ankles and sore feet. She reveled in knowing that her hard work today would make her stronger tomorrow. She wanted to be strong. And when she was too injured to run, she sat and contently watched the track team as they went through their practice, sprinting across the track, kicking up huge dust clouds. She wished she could be as strong as they were.
No one was faster or stronger than Rob. He was the star runner for track. He was still only a sophmore and still he had accomplished way more than Shauna could ever have hoped to manage. He was amazing. His body tanned from all the long summer practices, covered in lean, slender muscles. Not to mention he was tall and had a pretty cute butt to go with everything else.
Shaun and Rob had been in the same sports for the past two years, but they had never really had a chance to talk. He was shy she thought. Maybe when you’re that fast, everyone else just gets left in the dust.
One day before school, Shauna was on her ritual morning run, jogging before the sun had even peeked over the rooftops, listening to her ipod as she mindlessly jogged into the music. Something poked her in the shoulder. She spun around to see a hooded figure in the dim morning light, running beside her. “get away,” she screamed as she threw a punch and hit the weirdo right on the chin sending him crashing down onto the pavement clutching his bloodied nose. It was Rob.
“what are you doing scaring me like that?! I almost died!!” yelled Shauna.
“wow u hit like a man…” mumbled Rob as he got to his feet and wiped the blood on his sleeve.
“what?!” I mean, um, anyway I’m sorry I hit you., I thought you were like…”
“it’s okay. I’m fine” he said
“what were you doing sneaking up behind me anyway?”
“oh, uh, I saw you running and thought you might want some company and like maybe it would be better to have a guy around since it’s so deserted and all but yeah, I guess you don’t really need a guy to protect you.”
He smiled. He was so handsome, Shauna thought, even if his hair was a mess and some of the dried blood was smeared on his cheek. Why would Rob want to run with her? She was just average looking, slow, clumsy Shauna. There was no way he liked her or anything. But what if he did?
Rain started to gently caress Shauna’s face Rob grabbed her hand and the two of them ran for cover under a nearby tree. She felt so safe with Rob, as if nothing could ever hurt her. A smile spread across her face as she looked down in surprise to see their hands were still intertwined. She timidly looked up, almost afraid to see Rob’s disapproval of her clinging to his arm. His head turned away, searching through the sheet of rain for something to say. He turned his head back their eyes locked. Her cheeks started to heat up and she knew they were definitely turning a bright pink. She looked down at her feet. Suddenly she felt a tug on her arm and her body gravitated to him until she was firmly pressed against his chest, staring up into those tender loving eyes.
Finally he looked back at her. Their eyes locked. He slowly walked toward her, opened his arms and embraced her softly against his chest. With Rob’s arms around her waist, Shauna raised her head and met with
For a time everything was perfect. Seeing each other everyday, talking to each other every night. Going on dates, movie outings with friends, shopping together, studying together. They did everything together. Running was the best. Running side by side across the town, relishing their youth, their stamina, and the simple pleasures of a gentle breeze under a warm summer sun. The only downside of their runs was Shauna always struggled to keep up and had to settle for watching Rob .
It was the first official day of track season again and Shauna was startled awake by her alarm. She rubbed her eyes and peered through the darkness at her clock. She was late for her morning run with Rob! She wrestled out of her bed sheets, threw on her running clothes, laced up her shoes, and raced out the door expecting to see Rob waiting for her. She surveyed the street, hoping to see him running or stretching. Rob was nowhere to be seen. She let out a sigh as her gaze fell upon her watch. Sure, she was fifteen minutes late, but its not like he would have left without her right? No he wouldn’t do that to her. Where the hell could he be? If he didn’t show up or call, something must have happened. Shauna plopped down onto the bench and called him. No answer. She sat there waiting, and waiting, until her mom peeked her head out of the house an announced that it was time for breakfast and then off to school.
At school, he simply didn’t hear his alarm go off. Over time, he stopped going on the morning runs with Shauna. He said that there was no time for morning runs, because it was track season and that if he was going to be running, he had to be training seriously. And he said morning runs cut into sleep time, and he wasn’t getting enough sleep, because of homework and talking on the phone with her at night.
Shauna lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Rob to call. He was late again; probably late because he decided to do some extra laps around the track. But recently, she was always feeling like a burden for Rob. He never had time to run with her, they barely talked at school, because he had to spend time with his friends. And he was always doing homework at night so didn’t really talk on the phone for too long. Not to mention the fact that the only time she got attention was when they argued over not spending enough time together. She sat in bed thinking of how to fix this relationship, before things got out of hand. She could never break up with him and give up those memories. Even if their relationship wasn‘t perfect, she loved Rob. She laid on the bed, and prayed that things would change.
Shauna lived to run. She wasn‘t a great runner or anything, but not a day went by that she didn’t hit the track. She jogged till the sun went down, through the rain, on sprained ankles and sore feet. She reveled in knowing that her hard work today would make her stronger tomorrow. She wanted to be strong. And when she was too injured to run, she sat and contently watched the track team as they went through their practice, sprinting across the track, kicking up huge dust clouds. She wished she could be as strong as they were.
No one was faster or stronger than Rob. He was the star runner for track. He was still only a sophmore and still he had accomplished way more than Shauna could ever have hoped to manage. He was amazing. His body tanned from all the long summer practices, covered in lean, slender muscles. Not to mention he was tall and had a pretty cute butt to go with everything else.
Shaun and Rob had been in the same sports for the past two years, but they had never really had a chance to talk. He was shy she thought. Maybe when you’re that fast, everyone else just gets left in the dust.
One day before school, Shauna was on her ritual morning run, jogging before the sun had even peeked over the rooftops, listening to her ipod as she mindlessly jogged into the music. Something poked her in the shoulder. She spun around to see a hooded figure in the dim morning light, running beside her. “get away,” she screamed as she threw a punch and hit the weirdo right on the chin sending him crashing down onto the pavement clutching his bloodied nose. It was Rob.
“what are you doing scaring me like that?! I almost died!!” yelled Shauna.
“wow u hit like a man…” mumbled Rob as he got to his feet and wiped the blood on his sleeve.
“what?!” I mean, um, anyway I’m sorry I hit you., I thought you were like…”
“it’s okay. I’m fine” he said
“what were you doing sneaking up behind me anyway?”
“oh, uh, I saw you running and thought you might want some company and like maybe it would be better to have a guy around since it’s so deserted and all but yeah, I guess you don’t really need a guy to protect you.”
He smiled. He was so handsome, Shauna thought, even if his hair was a mess and some of the dried blood was smeared on his cheek. Why would Rob want to run with her? She was just average looking, slow, clumsy Shauna. There was no way he liked her or anything. But what if he did?
Rain started to gently caress Shauna’s face Rob grabbed her hand and the two of them ran for cover under a nearby tree. She felt so safe with Rob, as if nothing could ever hurt her. A smile spread across her face as she looked down in surprise to see their hands were still intertwined. She timidly looked up, almost afraid to see Rob’s disapproval of her clinging to his arm. His head turned away, searching through the sheet of rain for something to say. He turned his head back their eyes locked. Her cheeks started to heat up and she knew they were definitely turning a bright pink. She looked down at her feet. Suddenly she felt a tug on her arm and her body gravitated to him until she was firmly pressed against his chest, staring up into those tender loving eyes.
Finally he looked back at her. Their eyes locked. He slowly walked toward her, opened his arms and embraced her softly against his chest. With Rob’s arms around her waist, Shauna raised her head and met with
For a time everything was perfect. Seeing each other everyday, talking to each other every night. Going on dates, movie outings with friends, shopping together, studying together. They did everything together. Running was the best. Running side by side across the town, relishing their youth, their stamina, and the simple pleasures of a gentle breeze under a warm summer sun. The only downside of their runs was Shauna always struggled to keep up and had to settle for watching Rob .
It was the first official day of track season again and Shauna was startled awake by her alarm. She rubbed her eyes and peered through the darkness at her clock. She was late for her morning run with Rob! She wrestled out of her bed sheets, threw on her running clothes, laced up her shoes, and raced out the door expecting to see Rob waiting for her. She surveyed the street, hoping to see him running or stretching. Rob was nowhere to be seen. She let out a sigh as her gaze fell upon her watch. Sure, she was fifteen minutes late, but its not like he would have left without her right? No he wouldn’t do that to her. Where the hell could he be? If he didn’t show up or call, something must have happened. Shauna plopped down onto the bench and called him. No answer. She sat there waiting, and waiting, until her mom peeked her head out of the house an announced that it was time for breakfast and then off to school.
At school, he simply didn’t hear his alarm go off. Over time, he stopped going on the morning runs with Shauna. He said that there was no time for morning runs, because it was track season and that if he was going to be running, he had to be training seriously. And he said morning runs cut into sleep time, and he wasn’t getting enough sleep, because of homework and talking on the phone with her at night.
Shauna lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Rob to call. He was late again; probably late because he decided to do some extra laps around the track. But recently, she was always feeling like a burden for Rob. He never had time to run with her, they barely talked at school, because he had to spend time with his friends. And he was always doing homework at night so didn’t really talk on the phone for too long. Not to mention the fact that the only time she got attention was when they argued over not spending enough time together. She sat in bed thinking of how to fix this relationship, before things got out of hand. She could never break up with him and give up those memories. Even if their relationship wasn‘t perfect, she loved Rob. She laid on the bed, and prayed that things would change.
Unthinkable Horror ( I am very disturbed that I actually wrote this)
He was not thinking about his friends, or even his family. He was not thinking about his girlfriend who he had loved, not even her lovely, large, but not excessively so, breasts. He was not thinking about her hair that had been so long and brown or her lips that had been so soft and red. He was not thinking about his dog or the neighbor’s plants that the dog continually tore up. He was not thinking about work or the secretary with whom he had had affair after affair. He was not thinking about his ex-wife who left him because of said affair. Nor was he thinking about getting gas, although he would certainly need to very soon if he wanted to keep driving, though he had no such intention. He wasn’t thinking about the child that might have been on its way, or how it would have affected his relationship with his girlfriend. He wasn’t thinking about his growling stomach that had not been fed for nearing more than a day. He wasn’t thinking about the gun that was so carefully placed in the glove compartment, or how he had almost killed himself with it only hours before. He wasn’t thinking about the child with whom he had locked eyes with only seconds before he intended to pull the trigger. He wasn’t thinking about the tickle he felt on his right testicle that had been itching for the past twenty minutes. He wasn’t thinking about the smell of blood as he had opened the front door. He wasn’t thinking about the wave of silence and dread that had overcome him as he approached the stairs about thirty six hours earlier. He was not thinking about how he was now driving almost fifty miles over the speed limit. He was not thinking about the foolish prairie dog that scurried across the road entering his path and being squished, but only on the backend. He was not thinking about how he had watched it as the front half that still remained unsquished, had continued to try and run across the street. He was not thinking about how as he had descended down one stair at a time he knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. He was not thinking about how her right hand had been glued to the light switch just as it would have been if she were about to turn on the lights only without a body attached to it. He was not thinking about how her legs up to her knees were on the scale posed as if she had been weighing herself, only the weight displayed on the meter was certainly a lot less than what she had actually weighed. He was not thinking about the way the weather had been changing, finally starting to warm up after a cool beginning of spring. He was not thinking about the police car that suddenly appeared in his rear view mirror. He was not thinking about the rest of her legs and her torso that were sitting on the couch watching TV on mute, though it didn’t really matter since there was not head attached which meant no eyes, no ears. He was not thinking about how the officer in pursuit of him had now become two. He was not thinking about what he would do if he were forcibly stopped before he could reach his destination. He was not thinking about her right hand which was on the dinner tray wrapped around her fork with witch she had been eating a TV dinner. He was not thinking about the fly that was trapped in his car that kept banging its face against the window trying to escape. He was not thinking about the A.C. that he hadn’t bothered to turn off even though he was freezing. He was not thinking about how he had opened the basement bathroom door to find her head hanging from the ceiling forced into a permanent smile, eyes open staring into the mirror as if she were simply checking her reflection. He was not thinking about the helicopter he could now hear overhead. He was not thinking about the urine that now soiled his pants. He was not thinking about how there was blood everywhere even inside an empty glass that had been sitting on the coffee table, which he thought was odd. He wasn’t thinking about what the police driving behind him would do if they stopped him to find his girlfriend’s severed head riding shotgun. He was not thinking about the terrible job someone would have of cleaning everything up. He was not thinking about how long it would take for his house to sale and if the people who would eventually live there would know of the horrors that had been committed there. He was not thinking about what his parents and friends would say after he was gone. He was not wondering how much they would miss him or how they would remember him. He was not thinking about how much pain she may have suffered as she was torn apart or how much of her dismemberment she had been alive for.
All he could think about was what kind of sick sack of psychopathic shit face it would take to dissemble such a beautiful woman and then place her body parts in positions as if they were simply carrying on with everyday activities. And even as his car finally reached the cliff and he began the hundred and fifty foot drop into the canyon, he still couldn’t find the answer.
All he could think about was what kind of sick sack of psychopathic shit face it would take to dissemble such a beautiful woman and then place her body parts in positions as if they were simply carrying on with everyday activities. And even as his car finally reached the cliff and he began the hundred and fifty foot drop into the canyon, he still couldn’t find the answer.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Esther
It was time for a change. Esther wanted what probably all girls her age wanted. Him… She wanted that guy that every 17 year old girl dreamed of. Tall dark and handsome. She had been through plenty of guys and they all came up short in one way or another. There was Jonny who had the tall dark and handsome part right, but lacked the brain to put it to any kind of good use. The deepest conversation she had had with him was about the chicken and the egg, which led to him sneaking into a neighboring farm just to feed a chicken. This would have been bad enough, but of course he had to feed it, that’s right you guessed it, scrambled eggs just because he found it ironic. He then decided that the chicken must have come first, because if the chicken hadn’t laid the egg, then it wouldn’t have known what the egg was, and would have eaten it… She didn’t know how to respond to that either.
Clearly, tall dark and handsome wasn’t enough. Esther needed the kind of guy that was smart too. He didn’t have to be the next bill gates. In fact, she preferred that he not be that smart, as she had an aversion to chess club members and mathletes. She wanted a guy that was more street smart. The kind of guy who could take care of himself, and of course her, in case of an emergency. He couldn’t be like Lord-Francis (yes that was his real name, LF for short) who was a nice guy, not bad looking, and fairly smart to boot. But he had a slight problem with anxiety, and couldn’t exactly handle himself in emergency situations. For example, there was the time when she had had a track meet and Jason was watching in the audience. She was a hurdler and proud of it. In this particular meet she had misjudged one of the hurdles and caught her back foot on it. She fell forward face-planting right into the pavement. LF valiantly rushed to her rescue, only to see the blood gushing down her face from her nose and the scrape on her chin. He fainted right there on the spot. He fell off to the side of the track into the grass, which would have been good, except his head just so happened to land on a shot-put ball, giving him a concussion. In the end he had needed more medical attention than she had.
It was sort of the same story with Daniel, Norman, Kevin, and Shea. They were all nice guys, but in one way or another, they just didn’t quite satisfy her requirements. Esther couldn’t understand why she was thus far unable to find that right guy. She was after all fairly attractive. People were always telling her she looked older, often taking her for a college student. She had night dark hair that bounced and swayed all the way down to the middle of her back, with hazel eyes, sharp green contrasting brilliantly with the plain brown. She was half Korean on her mom’s side, with one quarter Jamaican and one quarter Caucasian, given her by her dad. Her Asian eyes and bone structure went well her Caucasian nose, and Jamaican chin. It was quite a mix. She was blessed with a thin frame and had just recently added some not so modest curves to fill it in. She had always had hands and feet that seemed just a little too large for such a small person, but she had grown into them nicely. She had class. She really was turning into a beautiful young woman.
Clearly, tall dark and handsome wasn’t enough. Esther needed the kind of guy that was smart too. He didn’t have to be the next bill gates. In fact, she preferred that he not be that smart, as she had an aversion to chess club members and mathletes. She wanted a guy that was more street smart. The kind of guy who could take care of himself, and of course her, in case of an emergency. He couldn’t be like Lord-Francis (yes that was his real name, LF for short) who was a nice guy, not bad looking, and fairly smart to boot. But he had a slight problem with anxiety, and couldn’t exactly handle himself in emergency situations. For example, there was the time when she had had a track meet and Jason was watching in the audience. She was a hurdler and proud of it. In this particular meet she had misjudged one of the hurdles and caught her back foot on it. She fell forward face-planting right into the pavement. LF valiantly rushed to her rescue, only to see the blood gushing down her face from her nose and the scrape on her chin. He fainted right there on the spot. He fell off to the side of the track into the grass, which would have been good, except his head just so happened to land on a shot-put ball, giving him a concussion. In the end he had needed more medical attention than she had.
It was sort of the same story with Daniel, Norman, Kevin, and Shea. They were all nice guys, but in one way or another, they just didn’t quite satisfy her requirements. Esther couldn’t understand why she was thus far unable to find that right guy. She was after all fairly attractive. People were always telling her she looked older, often taking her for a college student. She had night dark hair that bounced and swayed all the way down to the middle of her back, with hazel eyes, sharp green contrasting brilliantly with the plain brown. She was half Korean on her mom’s side, with one quarter Jamaican and one quarter Caucasian, given her by her dad. Her Asian eyes and bone structure went well her Caucasian nose, and Jamaican chin. It was quite a mix. She was blessed with a thin frame and had just recently added some not so modest curves to fill it in. She had always had hands and feet that seemed just a little too large for such a small person, but she had grown into them nicely. She had class. She really was turning into a beautiful young woman.
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