Anna

The moment the last morsel was swallowed, regret set in.  She was alone once again, and her surroundings seemed to melt off into the distance; what ensued next, was forgotten as if she were on autopilot.  Mechanical lacing of shoelaces followed the mindless changing of clothes.  She was tired of this endless cycle.  So familiar, comfortable even, yet danger was approaching, coming to visit.

The repetitive pounding of shoe soles on the slightly worn tread belt had always calmed her.  Tonight was different.  All else was silent, but the music playing in her head. Well, not coming from the depths of her mind, but streaming out of the tiny cube shaped mp3 player attached near her protruding hip bone.

"What was that?"

Although inevitable, she had hoped for a few more moments to herself.  The music drowned out, and now, nothing was there for distraction.  Surreal reality struck her as the voice asked again, this time louder:

"What was that?!"

She was too distraught to fight it.  Anna was here to reprimand.  To question, torment and reason with her; if reasoning meant Anna was always right, and she wrong.  Anna was her best friend, as well as her worst enemy.  For the three years they had known each other, one could clearly see who held dominance in the relationship.

"I can't believe you.  Why you put yourself in these kinds of situations never ceases to amaze me."

"I didn't mean for it to happen, sometimes I just can't get around it.  I know what comes next," she said.

"Punishment naturally," Anna pushed on, "it's only fair after what you did tonight.  Gross.  Do you realize how much this sets you back?  Us back?  Improvement really isn't your strong point."

"I don't know where my head was today.  I'm sorry; it...it must be all the stress lately."

Anna laughed.  "Stress is a shit excuse.  You know I'm here for you, helping you, but what difference does it make if you can't stop messing up?  You've disappointed me, and I never accept failure.  You're only hurting yourself."

She sighed.  "I don't feel like talking about it; I actually didn't think it was that bad."

"Not that bad?  That's exactly why I'm here.  Have you seen yourself lately?  You're definitely slipping, and don't think I'm the only one to notice.  I'm sure that guy you went out with on Tuesday had a laugh at that ugly outfit you were wearing.  Sweetie, he's a bit out of your league, huh?"

"Well, I suppose no call in a week means no second date.  I thought we had hit it off..."

"You know what happened.  What guy would take interest in what you've become?  I'm telling you this for your own good.  You need to get back on track...Where's your damn will power?"

The jolt into sudden clarity made her feet falter.  She gripped the handles of the treadmill to regain her balance.  She stood still, with "Who I Am, Hates Who I've Been" blasting into her eardrums.  She was drenched, and slippery sweat trickled down her face, mingling with the tears she could not stop from flowing.  After glancing at the clock, reading 11:37 PM, she forced herself off of the machine.  The machine she depended on, after every failure.  What was so common to her, something she hated, but she was smart enough to realize that there was no escape.  Her fear from earlier had dissipated as it always did.  She needed that support, and therefore, it was something she loved too: a connection to her friend, Anna.  A smile crept upon her face.  It was just an ordinary night, and she was content in knowing it was not the last visit.